my hopes are so high that your kiss might kill me

Day 18, Saturday: Tell a story from your childhood. Dig deep and try to be descriptive about what you remember and how you felt.

i know this might not be a story from childhood necessarily but it's one of my most favorite memories i can recall.

it was january of 2005. my sophomore year of high school. i was at char's house on an excitedly proclaimed girl night. we were sitting in her living room with peely masks on our faces and pigging out on cool ranch doritos and ranch sunflower seeds. just as we were getting ready to put on either a disney movie or girly movie, char got a text from our friend josh. and josh just so happened to be with his best friend taylor, the boy i had liked for a really long time. and apparently, the two of them were outside of her house and waiting for us to come get in the car. i can still remember us scrambling around like crazy women trying to peel off our masks and get dressed. i honestly don't think i ever had make up on and for 15 year old kate that was a big deal. we hopped into the backseat of josh's car, me behind him the driver, char behind taylor in the passenger seat. most of the night is a blur to me but i remember we drove around, played ridiculous teenager games, and ended up on highway 50 driving towards the mountains. 

all i can truly remember is the way i felt in this one single moment. it was so dark outside except for our lights on the road. and we were listening to some awful music that the boys liked. but you know how in movies girls can hear music playing in their head? yeah, i had that going on. hands down by dashboard confessional started playing in my head and i closed my eyes and leaned my head back and thought to myself, "this is it. this is the happiest i'll ever be in life." and just as i opened my eyes taylor turned around to look at me. i mean like he really, really looked at me and smiled his big toothy smile. and i melted. it was done. i loved him and i didn't care who knew. char looked at me because she had just seen the way he looked at me and i think we grabbed hands or just smiled at each other. either way she knew i had just fallen deeply for the boy with the green hair and big brown eyes. 

and that night, over eight years ago, is still so perfectly preserved in my mind. char and i talk about it a lot when we reminisce and even thinking about it still gives me butterflies. and it's not like i have any feelings for him anymore and honestly it's been years since i have seen him but every time i hear that song i can still remember being in that back seat. sitting with my best friend in the whole world and the first boy i ever loved in the front seat. to me, it is the defining point in my teenage years. and one of my most favorite memories i have.

hands down this is the best day i can ever remember

i'll always remember

the sound of the stereo

the dim of the soft lights

the scent of your hair that you twirled in your fingers

and the time on the clock

when we realized it's so late

and this walk that we shared together

the streets were wet

and the gate was locked so i jumped it and i let you in

and you stood at your door with your hands on my waist

and you kissed me like you meant it

and i knew

that you meant it

that you meant it

and i knew that you meant it

that you meant it