about the girl

my name is katelyn 
i prefer to be called kate though; it makes me feel prettier

i was born twenty four years ago 
but my hearts age changes daily
sometimes i feel like a 60 year old woman who wants nothing more than to sit and listen to old jazz records while sipping tea with cream
and sometimes i feel like i am a reckless 16 year old girl who yearns for the taste of sunrise and summertime romance
either way, i'm currently caught somewhere in between the two
and lets be honest: i have no idea who i am or where i belong 
but i do know who i want to be and i'm striving diligently towards her daily

i'm also figuring out where i belong in this world 
part of me, a little portion, feels like there will be no place in the universe that will feel like home
that i was once a meteorite, crashing down towards the earth, and instead of landing in one place i shattered into a million tiny little pieces all across the world
so in order to figure out where i belong i need to see, taste, discover, and explore to all the far reaches of the planet
i'm hoping by doing this i will find my place and where i belong
that i will finally find a place that feels like home

the three things that always make me feel the most like myself are
1. writing
2. driving at nighttime 
3. showing the people in my life how much i love them

i hope someday to write something that will move people. whether it's a simple blog post, a letter, or the book i've always dreamed of writing. words mean the world to me. i have been moved, transformed, and changed beyond recognition from the words of others. i just hope that somehow i can one day make even the smallest of a difference in someones life with my simple yet honest words. 

lastly, i guess the main thing you need to know about me is that i'm messy. i'm stumbling through life trying to figure it all out. i've gotten bumps and scrapes and scars all across my heart in the process. but i'm not hardened from it all. i'm actually very tender and soft. two things i use to think were bad because they made me weak. but i don't think there is anything wrong with loving someone so much it makes you weep. or crying from seeing a homeless person or a beautiful sunset or hearing a tragically beautiful song . i feel life in the depths of my soul. i feel humankind and beauty and tragedy. but more than all that, i feel love. a love for my Maker and all of the things He has created. beautiful and sad. and i don't think there is anything weak about that. 

No comments:

Post a Comment