i can't remember the last time i sat down to write.
why is that?
maybe because i only write when my heart is broken.
or when i feel lost.
is that why i'm writing again?
because i'm lost?
my heart is doing okay these days so that must be it.
i wish i made more time to write. it's the only time i ever truly feel like myself. i used to want to make a career out of writing but i don't think that's something that would be worthwhile for me. i can't manufacture my heart. i don't want my ideas to be required; i want them to come in like a cool breeze when the timing is right. slow & steady. calm & easy.
it's crazy to read back through these posts and read the things i wrote. sometimes it shocks me. sometimes it makes me proud. a lot of the time it makes me sad and nostalgic.
but mostly it inspires me.
i don't want to make a decree that i'm going to start writing again because lord knows i've done that way too many times. so this is just a reminder to myself.
start writing again.
you love it.
it makes you feel normal.
it balances you.
it helps you love the messy parts of yourself.
oh, and p.s.
you're going to be okay
x's and o's