| saturdays |

it's not that i miss you. because i honestly don't think i do.
i've started the process of moving on and recovering.
of not hurting over you anymore.
especially over the fact that you never even tried to say sorry.
not a call. or email. or text. or facebook message.
not a single one.
but i'm in the works of not having your name feel like a punch in the stomach.

i just miss the way it feels to be around someone special
to have someones knee to rest my hand on while driving
and to have a hand rub my feet that are sprawled across their lap
i miss knowing what it feels like to have the certainty of a goodnight kiss (or two)
and inside jokes only we could laugh at

even though those things are great, they aren't worth all the hurt that comes with them.
but tonight, this lonely warm saturday night, i miss having those things.
and maybe just a little...i miss you.
how tonight we would probably be laying out on a blanket in the yard, tangled in a mess underneath the stars.
but instead i'm sitting in front of the glow of this computer screen and wondering what these past few weeks have been like for you.

it's been hard. but every day is a little victory of recovery. and someday soon i'm sure i'll have better things to do on my saturday night than to think about you. i gave you plenty of my saturdays. so from now on i'm going to work on keeping them for me.