Tuesday, November 20, 2012
i found out something this weekend i never knew. something that made me step back and think. and reflect.
it was the first truly rainy saturday of the year. i got home from a friends house and my dad was the only one home. he was watching the football game and i was searching through the cabinets looking for something to eat for lunch. he looked at me smiling and said, "we should watch a movie. i think it's that time." without having to explain farther i knew exactly what he was talking about. whenever it's a rainy day or a weekend afternoon just the two of us there are only three movies we ever watch. the lord of the rings trilogy. since we bought a new tv last year my dad went out and re bought all the movies on blue ray. he's a big fan of blue ray and our first flat screen tv. every time something comes on the screen he says things like, "wow, look at that picture!" or, "you can see the color flecks in their eyes the picture is so clear!" he definitely doesn't take for granted the advancements in technology.
anyways, we decided to watch the first lord of the rings movie: fellowship of the ring. it's probably my favorite movie as a whole but i definitely love them all. the trilogy is somewhat of a big deal to my family. my dad grew up reading all of j.r.r. tolkien book's and i think the hobbit is the first book my dad ever read cover to cover. they are also the only movies my family ever as a whole saw consecutively together. the hobbit coming out this decemeber will be no different and i look forward to it. i was originally going to go into my room and read but seeing how excited my dad was to watch the movie on blue ray the first time i decided to watch it with him. the opening shots of the shire's lush green rolling hills on our new tv made my dad simply say, "wow."
it wasn't until later in the movie when the characters go to rivendell, the elven city, that the reason behind this blog takes place. the shots of the city were breathtaking. even as a kid seeing the city in the movie always took my breath away. kudos to the cinematographic and all the graphic designers the camera was panning around when my dad turned to look at me and said,
"wow, that is so enchanting. looking at that stirs something inside me. it's enchantment. it's so deep. i've always felt that way. when you see something so beautiful all you can feel is enchantment."
if you knew my dad you would know that he doesn't ever talk like that so it definitely set me back. we finished the movie, accompanied by the nutella brownies i made (which were delicious btw!), and both went our separate ways. but my dads words hung in my head. enchantment. but then i started thinking about my dad. the books he reads. the movies he likes. and i started realizing that i'm more like my dad than i thought. of course i got his stubbornness and weird sense of humor but there is more to it.
i know that i get part of my sense of traveling from my mom. she longs to see the eiffel tower in person and run her toes through tropical sand. but what about that feeling i get in my heart sometimes? the word enchantment seems to describe it so beautifully.
i laid in bed that night and realized more and more things i love that my dad does too. i thought back on all the family trips we've taken to gorgeous mountains and crystal rivers and how he stood just staring at them. taking it all in. i've always known my dad loved sailboats and lighthouses, like me, but maybe he gets the same stirring in his heart when he see's them. the unexplainable feeling of mystery and longing. maybe it's not enchantment. but maybe it's something we share. something i never knew existed. maybe we are more alike then i ever knew. it's one of those things deep in yourself that is so personal you don't want to talk about. or that you can't even describe. like when you see an amazing sunset. not everyone feels the same way while looking at it but everyone feels something. maybe that tugging in my heart isn't something i share alone. it's the same feeling i get whenever i see that elven city in lord of the rings. or scenes of the shire. or even when i see a sailboat at sea. it's a running in my heart. a pitter patter of magic.
me and my dad are different in a lot of ways. while i am nurturing and sensitive he is hard and rough. we butt heads more often than not but deep down, deep in the core of his heart, i saw something this weekend i never knew was there. and i know lord of the rings isn't a huge deal but finishing watching the movie with my dad i felt like i saw his heart in such a beautiful new way. my hard dad with the rough scarred hands, who preaches at biker church on thursday's, and pinches me to show affection has enchantment in his heart. and it courses through my heart just the same.
and it is beautiful.
and it is enchanting.