goodbye two thousand eleven.

my dear, dear two thousand eleven,

i cant believe its almost time for us to say goodbye. i feel like we just started to get use to each other and finally got in the swing of things. i never would have imagined all of the little surprises and heartbreaks you would bring me when we first met almost 365 days ago. but even though you weren't my best year, you have definitely brought me some of the best memories. so i wanted to say thank you for that. i will never forget you.

p.s. these were some of the highlights of our time together.

-bringing in the new year in southern california with my best friend. a rainy new years day walking around venice and warm chai lattes that sooth the soul.

-getting stuck in traffic for fifteen hours on the way home from southern california with my best friend's brother and one of her other friends and by the time i got dropped off at my house at almost 5am being the closest of friends with them and sharing "remember that"'s exchanged every time we run into each other.

-getting my first major surgery. learning more about my body and the realizations i went through during my recovery.

-ending toxic friendships and not regretting it one bit.

-spending time with those who make me happy.

-coming into my own at my job and taking on a great deal of responsibilty.

-strengthening relationships with amazing women and crossing things off my list..

-taking one of my first saturdays off in almost a year and a half and driving half way between nor cal and so cal to meet my best friend in san luis obispo for a weekend of shopping, hotel room talks, hours of getting ready, best friend heart to hearts, delicious food in the cutest little restaurant's with the nicest people, and i will be seeing you's exchanged.

-months and months of six day work weeks, working from 7-6 daily and having no sight of a social life.

-going to the gym and swimming and being the happiest i have been in years.

-taking a girls day trip to santa cruz with my mom and having an amazing day.

-having the best memorial day weekend ever, even though it was a rainy one, filled with late best friend birthday celebrations, long drives up highway 50 to get the best warm drinks in town and to take pictures with cute umbrellas in the rain, dinner in old sacramento on the river with the jazz festival serenading the background, and as always long talks with my other half.

-countless phone conversations with friends from all over the country always reassuring me that i am one lucky girl.

-writing, journaling, and figuring out more about who i am as a writer.

-starting to hang out with old friends again and beginning to feel like myself again.

-too many sushi dates with my brother and way too many ridiculous things that the two of us do when we are together.

-meeting a guy who made me feel like the most beautiful girl in the world. even if it was only for a short while.

-spending time with my family and realizing what makes me love them so much.

-having a relaxing, amazing, and wonderful fourth of july in lake tahoe for the second time. bbq, napping, swimming, shopping, and watching fireworks with friends.

-quitting my job i was unhappy at and packing up my suitcase to spend the summer in florida with my high school best friend.

-getting to trek across florida in my friends mom's honda accord that use to drive us to school every day and getting to spend four days in orlando exploring disney world which is in fact: the happiest, and hottest, place on earth.

-meeting cute boys in different states and airports and having a Divine experience with someone from every flight i was on during my adventure back (i still haven't finished or posted that blog yet. soon i promise!)

-coming home from florida to be met with friends who missed me and to celebrate a great friends birthday in style.

-going camping with my friends for the first time ever. getting deathly sick but still having an amazing time.

-starting back at school in a history class and working at my old job one day a week (they wanted me back :])

(yes this was me studying for my finals^^ haha)

-countless nights spent at my friends house til the wee hours of the morning playing games, eating food, drinking and telling stories, and being young and having fun.

-starting my new blog, beginning that journey, and becoming a better, stronger person because of it.

-having hands down the best birthday of my entire life.. even now i feel way too blessed to have what i have and to have the friends i am blessed with.

-gaining new friends and strengthening old ones.

-reuniting with an old best friend from high school and soon becoming inseparable. leaning on each other, working through hardships together, and being each others accountability partner.

-creating an unexpected, new friendship that was spent at the river, walks at night, watching $3 movies in the theater with snuck in snacks, star gazing until the early morning, and hours of texting and joke telling.

-halloween parties, cake parties, and party bus birthday parties.

-writing letters to show people i love that i am thankful for them on thanksgiving and having one of the best holidays with my family. also having a reality check of all the things i should be thankful for while talking to a friend who spent his thanksgiving eating a boxed meal in iraq.

-countless nights laying in a twin bed talking about love, life, and all the silly things in between.

-looking at christmas lights all bundled up and cute and talking about our hope for our futures and the kind of families we want to have.

-stress about not having money for christmas presents but somehow being able to pull it all together the day before christmas eve.

-having one of the least christmasy feeling christmas's but it still being a good one at that.

-spending time with my best friend from florida while she is here visiting. hours spent catching up, sitting on my bed listening to high school bands, eating our favorite meal (burritos, hot cheetos, and mountain dew--healthy i know), and laughing too hard to breathe.

-getting a very thoughtful and fun gift that consisted of a lovely notebook, uno, cute little clothing things, a disposable camera, the first nsync cd:), and other little things that made me smile.

-taking a spur of the moment day trip to south lake tahoe with the best and spending over an hour walking back and forth across the california/nevada stateline taking pictures and videos.

-spending time with an old childhood friend home on leave from iraq and catching up on all we have missed in each others lives.

-slow dancing for the first time in front of a christmas tree with the lights as our guide to the righteous brother's unchained melody (one of my favorite songs). corny, but amazingly romantic.

-late night drives, songs sung in outrageous melodies, and too many hurting cheeks from smiling too much.

-finally getting my dream bed and turning my room into my own little escape.

-the loss of loved ones, the remembrance of others, and the joy of lifelong friendships that will never end no matter how many miles separate between.

(this is the tattoo on my dear best friend i wrote about in the link above. it is a lyric from the song i posted.)

-and finally today. new years eve. i have no idea what the night has in store for me but all i know is that i will love you 2011 for all you have given me. all the things listed above and thousands more i might have already forgotten mean everything to me. i appreciate you, respect you, and am eternally grateful for you.